by Robert Scocchi
| Published
We're almost two full weeks into the new year, and this is the time when most reasonable people start buckling under the pressure of their resolutions. As you drive by Planet Fitness – the California hotel where gym memberships are because you're not allowed to leave – and head to the nearest Dunkin' mall to get your daily calorie limit before 9:00 a.m., maybe you should consider watching Killer cake attack As you head into the weekend to scare yourself straight.
Most health experts say that donuts (henceforth called “donuts”) are bad for your health, and Killer cake attack It is a cautionary tale about how delicious sweets will almost certainly lead to your death if you don't keep your consumption under control.
Move over, killer tomatoes!
Killer cake attack It's a modern homage to B-movie Drive-In features, meaning your enjoyment will largely hinge on how many sodas you manage to smuggle past the flashlight-waving indicator in the trunk or glove compartment while finding your parking spot. The film does not provide any mystery to the audience, as the main antagonist of the film is a group of killer cakes, and their goal is to attack as many people as possible.
Leaping around like a swarm of ferocious, ferocious tennis balls, the Killer Cakes show no mercy after being inadvertently revived by a mad scientist whose life's work is bringing the dead back to life.
A vulgar display of flour
You can't have donuts randomly killing people without some sort of backstory to the dessert massacre because that would be ridiculous, so… Killer cake attack He brazenly goes through the motions to create some semblance of a narrative.
We are first introduced to Johnny Wentworth (Justin Ray), a young slacker who lives with his mother and works at Dandy Donuts. Johnny falls in love, and in a very one-sided relationship, with Veronica (Lauren Elise), who snoops on him and uses him mostly just for money. Johnny's mother, Emma (Cassandra Voyages), tries to convince him to consider his co-worker and childhood friend Michelle (Kayla Compton) as a romantic interest because they have a strong friendship that must by all means be taken out into the world. Next level.
Oh yeah, and living in Johnny's basement is his mad scientist uncle, Luther (Michael Swan), who spends all his time injecting a mysterious serum into dead rats while trying to perfect his reanimation serum so he can win a Nobel Prize. Luther should not be considered an opponent Killer cake attack Because he means well, but every pastry job in this movie is a direct result of his negligence despite his best intentions.
Donut uprising
Johnny steals his laptop from Uncle Luther's lab before heading to his shift at Dandy Donuts. Johnny and Michelle spend most of their shift handing out free donuts to their regular customers after some sort of fight breaks out in the store, much to the dismay of their incompetent boss Cliff (Chris DeChristopher). At this point in Killer cake attackthe piles of free products haven't become infected (or trapped) yet, but what's important is that there are dozens of potentially violent cookies in circulation.
Luther shows up at Dandy Donuts to retrieve the laptop and gets into a fight with Cliff, who had previously banned him from the store due to his strange behavior. During the scuffle, Luther's serum flies from his shirt pocket into the frying pan, leaving the rest behind Killer cake attack In motion.
The donuts grow fangs and secrete a toxic green goo that infects their victims, and everything explodes in Dandy Donuts before the sentient sweets explode and terrorize the city.
Not fully understanding the seriousness of the situation, it is up to Johnny and Michelle to inform the public and learn the full extent of Uncle Luther's research so they can develop an antiserum and save the day.
A violently hilarious bloodbath
Killer cake attack It has all the right ingredients for an effectively self-aware, low-budget B-movie. Its violence is so over-the-top that you can't help but laugh at how ridiculous the titular antagonists are as they prey on and eat their subjects. Sure, Officer Rogers (C. Thomas Howell) has access to firearms, but he's hopeless in his defense against the killer cakes because there simply aren't enough bullets in the world to alleviate the problem, especially after he's blinded by a jelly blast.
For full enjoyment killer cake attack, You go into your viewing experience knowing this Creature feature He doesn't take himself seriously at all. It's poorly designed, and the effects are deliberately bad to make the point. But if you need motivation to stick to your New Year's resolutions, I can't think of anything more effective than watching your favorite fried foods go on a murderous rampage, sparing no lives in their path.
As of this writing, you can stream Killer cake attack Free on tubes, peacock, pop, Plexand Amazon Prime Video.
