The holidays are the most wonderful time of the year. Except when they aren't. For parents of young children, the holidays can be especially difficult, especially with kids out of school, suffering from sugar highs, late bedtimes, and lack of routine.
“It's crazy. It's everyone's voices and everyone's thoughts and there's a lot of joy, but it can be a lot, you know?” says Meg Wallace, a mother of seven who lives in San Antonio, Texas.
While many parents may feel pressured to make the most of the holiday and bring “holiday magic” to their family and friends, family therapist Tom Kersting suggests not overdoing it.
“We have to remember to try to maintain some semblance of a routine for our kids during the holiday season,” Kersting says.
But over-reliance on children's entertainment with electronic devices can lead to its downfall. Excessive screen time can contribute to obesity, sleep disorders and eye strain, according to the Mayo Clinic.
“Kids almost don't know how to be bored these days, because they're always being stimulated by a device of some kind,” Kersting says.
To avoid “Christmas crankiness” or hearing “I'm bored” during the holidays, Wallace suggests involving kids in planning activities.
“We have a dream list where everyone writes, 'I want to go figure skating, I want to make hot chocolate,'” Wallace says.
Instead of setting guidelines for specific time limits for digital media use, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) updated its recommendations on media use in 2016 to recommend considering the quality of interactions with digital media and not just the quantity or amount of time.
“I love a good movie night with our kids over popcorn. I love all that. But kids get really grumpy. I can see they change. Their personalities change when they're on screens a lot,” Wallace says.
Anger management during the holidays can also be especially difficult when parents can enjoy entertainment.
“I think as mothers it's important to remember that anger is always a byproduct of something else, and some other things don't need to be met,” Wallace says.
To keep it all in perspective, Kersting advises his patients to practice an attitude of gratitude.
“So instead of looking at it as, ‘I have to survive this,’” says Kersting, “I look at it as a breath of fresh air… because this is a wonderful thing.”
Experts also suggest parents practice self-care during the holidays.
“The part where moms can go wrong is we want it to be so perfect. We want everyone to be happy. … It's not about that perfection,” Wallace says. “It's really about connecting with those you love.”
