Nikki Glaser tells Stern jokes she cut from the 2025 Golden Globes set

Expect too much Nikki Glaser To go into full roasting mode in 2025 Golden Globebut the comedic actress is getting rave reviews from critics and viewers alike for her simple opening monologue.

However, fans of Glaser's wildest jokes need not fear. Although she didn't get too wild in the Beverly Hilton hotel room in Los Angeles on Sunday, January 5, Glaser didn't hold back when making jokes that didn't make it during her appearance on SiriusXM. The Howard Stern Show Monday, January 6th.

“The Golden Globes are the only show where you get to see the biggest stars, film and TV coming together for the same goal — get out of here the night before.” Dax Shepard “I asked them to do his podcast,” Glaser began with a list of jokes she called “The Stern File,” which she worked on in the writer's room. “This is the last time you'll all be in the same room together Until Didi's trial.“

Stern then stopped Glaser because he couldn't believe she didn't make the joke Didi.

“We mentioned another Diddy that worked better and it led us to more other jokes,” she replied, referring to her joke included in the broadcast; “Zendaya here. Zendaya, you were amazing Dune (2). Oh my God, I woke up to all your scenes. You were very good. and UnitedGirl? It was very good. I mean this movie was more sexually charged than Diddy's credit card. “Oh, I'm upset too. The after party won't be as good this year. But we have to move on. A.” Stanley Tucci Whimsy doesn't have the same ring. “No baby oil this year, just a lot of olive oil.”

Speaking with Stern, Glaser explained why she chose the CBS version of the joke she told: “But that (the bit) was so much fun, and it was so nice of her to say, 'I'm going to tell it to Stern anyway.'” This is something you don't want to do, because it looks like you're accusing the people in that room of being involved in this, and they might turn on you.

Keep scrolling for more wild jokes that Glaser chose not to perform at the Globes:

Luigi Mangione moment

“Glenn Powell Tonight was nominated for Hitman. “Who would have thought that by the end of the year, you would be the second most successful man in America,” Glaser said before revealing, “Which we didn't do because people Luigi was a big deal for a while and then it fizzled out and it took a while for people to understand.

Coming to the Catholic Church
“I love concaveI think it has to do with the cardinals choosing a new pope. I think everyone should see it. It was so beautiful. Honestly, it will affect you so much that the church will have to move it to another theater. Conclave is rated PG, bring children. They will love it. The Catholic Church will love it. “Top tip, you don't need an ID to get into the secret after-party,” Glaser said, noting that she felt the Catholic Church's “pedophile jokes” had been fleshed out.

A twist on the Adrien Brody joke

“Oh, look, he's a two-time Holocaust survivor, Adrien Brody“If Adrien Brody could go back in time, he'd thank baby Hitler for his career,” Glaser said during the show, but the original jibe was more elaborate. When Stern asked if it broke her heart that she couldn't tell that joke Glaser explained that her assistant didn't understand that.

“My assistant is Generation Z, and she was like, ‘I don’t get it.’ And we say, ‘Well, there’s this whole thing where you could, if you had a time machine, go back and kill Hitler and prevent the Holocaust.’ And so, it’s like we We'll lose a whole bunch of people who don't know. “Then I said Hitler for nothing,” she said.

“Murders only” jab.

“Murders only in the building Amazing. I think it's great that you like mythology Steve Martin, Martin Short, Meryl Streep, “We're still at it, giving some of the best performances of their careers, which is very inspiring,” Glaser said. “This shows you that you are never too old to still need money. Guys, please don't do this.” He fights Jake PaulPlease, don't do that. Why are you still working so hard? Have you fallen for Hok Twah Girl's cryptocurrency scheme?”

Self-deprecating joke
“Amy Adams She was nominated for her performance in Night bitchWhile I was completely ignored for my performance of “Day Slut,” Glaser, who is known for making fun of herself in her sets. “The documentary category is tough, by the way. Night bitch “That's what Didi hears every evening before the light goes out.”

Nicole Kidman gag

“the Wild robot He was nominated tonight. And I mean it Nicole Kidman “After a couple of glasses of white wine,” Glaser said, noting that she wished she had told the joke but wasn't sure how Kidman would react. “If I made a face, then… (but) I think she would have been okay with it.”

Back to Ben
Affleck seems to be on the brain. “(I almost said), like, 'Am I going to roast or am I going to roast? You know? I'm not roasting. I'm going to toast. And I just made all these toasts. Like, 'This is Ben Affleck, I can't wait to see.' Which Jennifer “You try to destroy the next one,” Glaser said. “And I said to myself: 'Oh, I didn't say destroy them. I said he tried to destroy them, so it's nothing against them.' But I was like: 'That would have been crazy.'

Cocaine mockery
“Denzel Washington here. The only thing that has convinced more middle-aged men that they can take off their earrings than Denzel Washington is cocaine. Kate Winslet It is very similar to cocaine. It's white. It's always with Leonard DiCaprio“I can't wait to find her at the next party tonight,” Glaser said.

A wilder joke than Bob Dylan

Share Glaser A Different version Subordinate Timothée Chalamet/Bob Dylan A joke she told on the show. “To sound like Bob Dylan, Timothée Chalamet took years of vocal lessons because, apparently, that's how long it takes to learn to smoke 40,000 cigarettes.” Timothée took guitar, accent movement and singing lessons to become Bob Dylan, while Bob Dylan became Bob Dylan The old-fashioned way — heroin and autism,” Glaser said, prompting Stern to burst into laughter. “It's not diagnosed, but come on now, there's a lot of songs about trains.”

“evil” x “gay”
“Daniel Craig He was nominated for his performance in gaywhich is a movie and not just what my uncle calls Chucky evil“, she joked.

You saved Nick
“Nicolas Cage “He's here tonight looking relaxed after a night of sleeping in Elvis' coffin,” Glaser said, prompting more laughter from Stern. “Nicolas Cage is here, and so is the skeleton band that follows him while he plays jazz.”

Roast “rust”.

“Please know that I know this isn't nice,” Glaser began before launching into the joke:Michael Keaton He was so great at Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice and Alec BaldwinUnfortunately, he didn't come back to play the ghost because he was too busy making it. She added that the joke was “very mean” and she didn't want that “Re-Traumatizing” Baldwin.

Politics tab
“The movie Anura He was nominated for four awards tonight. It has been described as the most consistent look at sex work since Matt Gaetz“Payment history,” Glaser joked.

One last hit
“Squid games It is a show in which people starve themselves while competing mercilessly for the ultimate prize. “Oh, wait, no, sorry, this is the show,” she said. “I saw Joker 2 And you know, it reminded me of when I first… joker I went out and I was in theaters and I was afraid someone was going to shoot him. And then through joker 2, “I was really hoping they would.”