Steven Wilson Jr. was a scientist working for Mars, Inc. (Yes, Candy Company).
One day, his boss brought him into his office and said something that changed his life:
“Steven, you're about to get a promotion.”
Normally this would be a cause for celebration, but it was meant as a warning by his boss.
In his past life, Steven was a guitarist in a small indie rock band. He also spent his evenings writing songs.
His boss knew that Stephen was a good songwriter, and that he really belonged where he belonged.
Tell Stephen about the golden handcuffs:
“You're going to get a promotion and they're preparing you for the next level.
And you're kind of at a crossroads.
Because if you accept (the promotion), like I did 30 years ago, your dreams of becoming a songwriter will disappear. This will consume every part of you.
Now you can write songs and do the job, but 6 months from now I'm not sure you'll be able to. So I just want to give you a warning. “
That little voice in Stephen's head, which had been there for years and years, began to get louder.
After 6 weeks, with that now deafening inner voice, he gave 2 weeks notice, which confused him. everyone (Except his boss and his wife).
He began bartending and waiting tables to make ends meet while honing his craft, trying to get country music publishing deals…while getting rejected for not writing. “Balad Brothers” songs.:
He was told: Write TRUE Songs. We can't do anything with that…”
Years later, after some modest success writing songs for other musicians, he finally mustered the courage, experience and influence to start recording his own songs.
Last year, he finally released his first album, My father's sonwhich Rolling Stone called one of the best albums of 2023.
Recently, Stephen A A stunning cover of “Stand By Me” by Ben E. King. Which I've listened to about 10,000 times over the past month.
(Seriously, please watch this video. It will give you goosebumps!)
Golden handcuffs versus uncomfortable expansion
From 2008 to 2010, I also lived a double life.
My day job was at Sixthman, helping promote and produce float music festivals. But I also spent nights and weekends working on a little website to help nerds get back in shape.
My boss April and my mentor Andy (who owned the company) knew where my heart lay; They encouraged me to chase the uncomfortable future of trying to make Nerd Fitness into my career.
16 years later, we're still going strong!
In Oliver Burkman Four thousand a weekIt encourages us to ask a specific question when making decisions in life:
“Where in your life or work are you currently seeking comfort, when all it takes is a little discomfort?”
Asking ourselves “what would make me happiest” will likely lead us toward a comfortable and safe choice in the short term.
Instead, we should think about which path will make us grow as people, or which version will make us shrink every week. Maybe we know, deep down, the answer to this question, if we have the courage to ask it.
Borkman's advice:
“Choose uncomfortable zooms over comfortable zooms whenever you can.”
Yes, sometimes chasing “uncomfortable expansion” doesn't lead to a songwriting deal, or a successful business. You've chosen the uncomfortable path and sometimes things don't work out. But that's part of the process, and it at least eliminates the possibility of unhealthy regret!
Which brings me to today's task.
Let's get comfortable with discomfort
Let's chase uncomfortable expansion in 2025.
- When we train for strength, We force our muscles into discomfort by lifting heavier and heavier weights – they respond by growing and adapting.
- If we use food as a coping mechanism When we feel sad, angry, or bored, processing our relationship with food can be uncomfortable.
- When we have uncomfortable conversations, We can finally deepen our relationships or stand up for the things that matter to us.
In 2025, let's ask the question:
Where do you live comfortably and safely in your life, when? Deep down Did you know that the path of “uncomfortable expansion” is what you really need to grow and help you get what you really want?
You may not need to quit your job right away, start a new goal or change…
But it may be helpful to ask yourself this uncomfortable question.
Life is hard, and change is even harder.
uncomfortable.
scary.
messy.
But if you're willing to say no to comfort, this may be just what you need.
-Steve
note: We are doing a free 5 day workshop For people looking to build new habits that will actually last in 2025, they start in just a few days!
