Billie Lourd She admitted she felt “sad but grateful” as she celebrated her mother's eighth anniversary Carrie Fisher death.
Lorde spoke about her complicated feelings about the somber occasion, sharing an emotional tribute alongside a throwback photo of herself with her late mother. Via Instagram On Friday, December 27th.
“It's been 8 years since then My mother died. As my son says, “That's a lot!” I always dread this day. “I spend a lot of time beforehand thinking about how terrible I will feel,” wrote Lorde, 32, “and my fear is usually true. I woke up this morning with a dark cloud above me. But when my kids woke up the dark cloud dissipated and made way for bright, glowing sunlight.” “The anniversary of her death is like an emotional tropical storm. It rains a lot all day long, but between the storms the light is more beautiful than any day without storm clouds.”
The actress went on to rely on an analogy to explain how she felt as she grappled with feelings of sadness.
“There is something great Anne Lamott “Grief is like having a broken leg that never fully heals – it still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you're learning to dance with a limp.” “This describes how I feel today perfectly,” Lorde wrote.
She continued: “Yes, sad weather is cold and yes I may feel limp but I am totally dancing through life (oops, did I quote the word naughty?). And I'm actually a better dancer with my limp. My grief has given me a deeper appreciation for all of life's little moments. So today I am sad (sad but grateful). I watch the magic that my son and daughter represent and I know she is a piece of that magic. And I feel all the things. Sadness. Joy. Longing. Magic. Emptiness. Fullness. And it all coexists in a profound way. Sending my love to everyone who needs it. ❤️”
Since Fisher's death, Billie has welcomed son Kingston, 4, and daughter Jackson Joan, 2, with her partner. Austin Riddle.
Fisher He died in December 2016 He died at the age of 60 after suffering a heart attack. One day later, Fisher's mother, Debbie ReynoldsHe died of a stroke at the age of 84.
In the years after her mother and grandmother died, Lourdes did this often She opened up about her loss.
Last year, Lord Celebrate your anniversary Her mother's death was another poignant one.
“It's been 7 years since my mom died (but who's counting? Me I guess?),” Lorde wrote in December 2023. “Each anniversary brings a different iteration of my grief. Some fill me with rage, some make me cry all day, some make me feel disconnected and empty, some make me feel nothing, some make me feel guilty because I don't feel anything, and some make me feel all of these things at once. “
the Scream Queens The alum also admitted in December 2021 that processing grief is “not simple at all.”
“I'm in A different stage of grief “Every moment of every day,” Lorde wrote via Instagram. “My sadness is a multi-course meal with many complex components. An entertaining combination of bargaining followed by an appetizer of anger with a side of depression, an entree and of course a little dessert deprivation.
She continued: “This is how grief should be – all things at once – in fact there is no 'should' in grief – grief is all it is to you, and that is what it 'should be'.”